Looking back over the week makes me tired. I have done so much over the week and weekend I feel as though my life is a blur... There has been no time for me to sit down and reflect on the things I have done, nor have I had time to do the things I truly want to do.

Maybe I have been using the fact I am busy as an excuse. Maybe what is stopping me from doing what I want to do is fear. Fear.... Fear is something that is different for different people. I fear but a few things and so far I am running away from one of the things I am afraid of.

This week I have done a mixture of things so that I would not have to face my fear. I defrosted my freezer at home on Wednesday night, kickboxing on Thursday night, met with old friends for dinner and drinks on Friday night, another friends birthday on Saturday night and dinner with another friend tonight, Sunday.

No matter how busy I have been I am constantly thinking of that which I fear most... rejection from someone I like.

But for a week I will put it all behind me and disappear to Hong Kong where I will see my grandmother and pay my respects to my grandfather. Maybe when I come back I will feel different. Maybe when I come back things will have changed. Maybe when I come back nothing will have changed and I feel no different? Who knows...