Last few hours as a 20 something

I’m in my last hour of being 20 something…

30 years of being alive and where am I?

Will anything change because I am becoming a 30 something?

In the last 10 years I have managed to achieve some significant milestones which makes me feel that the next 10 years will mean even greater achievements. But in some respects I feel I am still at square one and I could be turning 20 again. I’m still single and I’m still living at home with my parents.

Positives and negatives are easy to pick out over a period of 10 years… but I think what is important is the experience, the learning and character development. Am I a better person than I was when I was just turning 20?

In my younger years I was somewhat proud and arrogant… traits I don’t think I have completely lost. I also assumed I knew more than I actually did. But as I have grown up I have come to realise the world is a lot more complex than I thought and reading books does not compensate for life experiences.

Quite simply, life does not read like a book. Things you read are usually of things that worked out and the difficulties THAT person experienced. No two lives are the same and until I experienced everything for myself I did not know how to over come the challenges that spring up from nowhere.

Sometimes I feel as though I am still a bit immature for my age and a lot of people are still telling me that being 30 is still very young. Young compared to who and what? Compared to other people who are still out drinking and having fun? I prefer to compare myself to my parents and the generation before. And in that sense I feel old and I feel as though I am a failure.

What is the big deal though? I mean it’s just another day really and I won’t change over night. Why the significance of a number?

I guess it is a defining moment and we all deal with things in different ways. I won’t be sad to see my 20s disappear into history. I won’t be happy to embrace the 30s. I will just be me and continue as I am now… Still thinking a lot, working and going to the gym...

Football United

It’s sometimes quite amazing what an acre of green grass with 22 grown men chasing a ball means to people of all nations and nationality.

Today I experienced that to its full effect. Chinese, English, Indian, French and American all watching the phenomenon that is foorball.

There was no hostility and no rivalry. It was pure admiration of the skills on show and the emotionally rollercoaster of seeing near misses, passionate tackling, athleticism, composure and great finishing.

We were experiencing the first 2 matches of the Emirates Cup, hosted by Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium. It was a beautiful day which lasted until we reached our car to make our way home.

If only the weather will be the same for tomorrow when my birthday celebrations begin and the reality of turning 30 sets in…

When hard work pays off...

So I have been going to the gym for 2 months now. How do I feel? I feel fit and healthy. I feel energetic and positive. I feel as though I have achieved a mini milestone in my life.

The truth is I joined the gym for a multitude of reasons… trying to get fit after I have quit smoking for coming up to 7 months now, considering the idea of playing rugby for my local team, preparing for trekking holidays in the future, prolonging my youth for a few more years… but in all honesty, I just wanted a 6 pack. I wanted to get the 6 pack before my 30th birthday and although I am not quite there yet, I am closer than I have ever been before! My whole body is toned that I can’t believe it. Hard work does pay off! Now I just need to maintain my rhythm and keep up the hard work and I will get a 6 pack, just not before I turn 30.

It’s no big deal really. I feel as though I have gone back 10 years rather than aged 10 years to be honest. When I was 19-20 I was pretty fit but then it all went downhill. After a long time of inactivity I have regained my desire to exercise and keep fit. I have rolled back those years and I really do feel great.

This weekend I celebrated my friend’s 29th birthday. A friend I have known for 10 years now. Looking back over the last 10 years a lot has happened and we have grown up and changed a lot as individuals. My close group of friends met whilst at uni and working part time. We spent our free time talking on the phone about shit and meeting up at least once a week to eat and waste our money on arcade games.

Ten years on those ‘bums’ are now working, a couple with double degrees. Driving nice cars … another has started a business… promotions coming round every year. It’s all so different and all so normal. Sometimes I look back and wonder why we did the things we did. Would be better off having worked harder in our youth rather than waste it away? Was it wasted or has it helped develop us into who we are today?

Regardless of the answer to the questions above, we are where we are now due to some of us working harder than others. There’s no secret to success in life. It comes down to how much you want it and how hard you fight for it.

Today, on the rowing machine… I had a choice to stop at 10 minutes which would have been a decent amount of exercise, but I chose to continue to 15 minutes. I know what I want to achieve and I will do everything I can to do so. Life isn’t so different… you get out in life exactly what you put in.

My recent thoughts

I have been quite at peace with myself lately. Going to the gym and exercising my body has helped clear my mind. It's true when they say healthy body, healthy mind.

Turning 30 had been a bit of a fear of mine, but recently I haven'€™t been too bothered. They say age is just a number and I have felt this to be true now that I am going to the gym regularly. I am healthier and fitter than I have ever been since I was a teenager. Feeling this way is very addictive... And to feel this way as I am turning 30, I feel as though it'€™s not too bad after all.

But then there are still my fears of being too old when I have my first child and also not finding the person I want to spend my life with.

I have reached a comfort zone in life and though I wish to find a relationship that works, I also fear that I am holding back because I am afraid of change.

At this moment in time, life seems very simple. You set yourself goals and objectives and you go about trying to achieve them. Upon success you could say you have had a good life. However we are human... we are never happy. Once we achieve one goal we move on to another.

One thing I have noticed is that the more we know the more we yearn. Take one of my favourite hobbies for example... cars. I used to obsess about cars. Buying magazines week in week out, sometimes subscribing. The more information I found out, the more I read about new technology and design the more I would want the latest and fastest car. The more I knew the more I wanted to compare my car with others in its class. But now, having weaned myself away from such literature I know relatively little about the modern cars being brought to market today. Which is why I am content with what I have. I know no better and I don'€™t really care either. I love what I have and I don't need to compare.

They say knowledge is power... but power just brings on greed and lust. Life is full of temptations which we do not try to avoid. Nor do we appreciate what we have around us. We are constantly worried about what we may have missed out on... when really, the only thing we miss is our own life.

I wouldn't say I am depressed at this moment in time neither am I in a reflective mood. What I am experiencing is a moment of clarity. This is my own clarity of course and I do not expect anyone to feel the same. One man's clarity is another's mud!

Ramble, ramble... that's what I seem to be doing now. Until another thought comes to my mind...

Had a great day....

I had a brilliant day today. Nothing special happened, in fact everything was rather ordinary...

The day started with a phone call from parents to say they are safe and sound in Hong Kong. My normal morning routine ensued and I was in the office for 8.50am.

Work was slow after a mad end to the quarter which coincided with the company full financial year end. There were a few reports to create and send out to our distributors before a team meeting where we were told of a reshuffle in the team structure due to being so efficient we are now taking on additional work in other parts of the world.

Home time for everyone meant gym time for me. I decided to stay a little later at work and head to the gym straight after to save having to drive out again after going home. It was a bit packed at the gym but out of the blue I bumped into an old colleague of mine and we had a brief chat about things. I managed to get most of my work out completed other than the stretching as the gym was too full. To compensate for a shorter routine I extended my rowing time from 15 minutes to 30 minutes. Making sure I was working in the optimal fat burn zone throughout. It felt really relaxed and I was pretty comfortable... so much so I think I could have rowed for an hour!

After the gym I ordered a pizza... Ok, not the best food to be eating, but I just fancied it as I haven't had it in a while. I settled in at home and put on Men in Black. It was a perfect end to an ordinary day. Simple things are often the things that please us most. I try not to expect too much then I cannot be disappointed. :)