Something happened for a third time in my life today. Someone I had a direct relationship with died. It was a girl I worked with, she was in a car accident. It really hit home and brought back memories of my grandfather.
It was only yesterday that I was talking and joking with her yet today and forever more I will not speak to her again. The office went eerily silent when we got told the news. No one knew what to say or do.
But life goes on and we still have a job to do, and by the afternoon people were trying to get back on top of things. Although we all knew it was a very sad day.
Tonight I went kick boxing again. I gave it my all because I am still alive. I can still achieve something. It is a shame it takes death for us to appreciate life, yet in a few days time this will all be in the darkest of our memories and we again start taking things for granted.
There have been things I have wanted to say to someone for a while now. It seemed appropriate to say it today. But I bailed out. I was still afraid. I knew I had to take my chances in life and today we a prime example, but I failed due to fear. Fear of embarrassment, fear of rejection, fear of the outcome… I was afraid.
I do not fear death yet I am afraid to speak. I do not fear pain yet I am afraid to be humiliated. I fear no one yet I am afraid of myself.
My last few words I want to offer my sympathies and condolences. I know it means very little at this moment in time. I hope that everyone affected will remember her for all the happiness she brought to their lives and that she may live on their thoughts.
RIP Claire Rooney.
1 comment:
sometimes it better to know and have an answer than to have the thought linger. i hope one day you will be able to pluck up the courage and tell the person what you need to say to them.
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