Writing helps...

It's not every day that I write in my blog. Maybe I have been lazy? Or had I just forgotten that writing helps me come to terms with things. Looking back I realised that I knew this and I write regularly to reaffirm some of my feelings and emotions and also to record my moments of joy or sadness. Lately I have been documenting things in my email drafts page because usually I am writing to someone with the intention of sending, but I don't. Why? Because having written it down and gotten things off my chest I feel relaxed and I feel I can breathe again.

Today I decided to give more time to my blog and put down in writing some of the things I feel, have done and plan to do. Not everything is relevant to anyone who reads this, and sometimes it probably isn't relevant to me, but one day, when I get old and read back on some of the things I said, did, planned... I can see where I went wrong, what I did right and how I changed over time as a person. 

Being away from my blog for so long there's a part of me that wants to fill the page with words that describe the time that has passed. But it would be a long blog and almost be novel-like. I don't want to do that. 

The simple truth is that over the years I have lost myself and who I am. I got lost in other peoples lives and trying to incorporate myself in to their world. Love is a weird and wonderful thing but it's never easy. I've had my heart broken a few times over the years, but I also know I've broken some hearts too. Life is pretty fair, what comes around goes around, but I know one day it will work itself out. We all end up dead and equal in the end. 

So why now? Well, I've made a decision to move to HK. Whether it is the right decision I don't really know. But then 'right' is subjective. I know that I won't be any happier staying in the UK and I won't change my life doing the same thing again and again. Einstein defined insanity as 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results'. I get that now... it's time for a change.

In light of my 'awakening' I signed up for a TEFL course and I'm on my way to becoming an English Teacher. It's a major change in my career path and a change in lifestyle, but having done what I do for so many years and I never really felt 'happy' in the roles I have taken I would rather earn less and do something rewarding. 

Hong Kong is a place I have often talked about living and working, but never really knew why. Moments of clarity are few and far between in our hectic lives and this just made sense to me at this juncture. I think I thought about moving in 2003... that's 9, coming on 10 years ago. What would my life be like had I made the move? Who knows... and does it matter? No really... I am who I am because of my past and my experiences. 

I'm looking forward to a change, a challenge and a fresh start... I promise that I will blog more often...