My recent thoughts

I have been quite at peace with myself lately. Going to the gym and exercising my body has helped clear my mind. It's true when they say healthy body, healthy mind.

Turning 30 had been a bit of a fear of mine, but recently I haven'€™t been too bothered. They say age is just a number and I have felt this to be true now that I am going to the gym regularly. I am healthier and fitter than I have ever been since I was a teenager. Feeling this way is very addictive... And to feel this way as I am turning 30, I feel as though it'€™s not too bad after all.

But then there are still my fears of being too old when I have my first child and also not finding the person I want to spend my life with.

I have reached a comfort zone in life and though I wish to find a relationship that works, I also fear that I am holding back because I am afraid of change.

At this moment in time, life seems very simple. You set yourself goals and objectives and you go about trying to achieve them. Upon success you could say you have had a good life. However we are human... we are never happy. Once we achieve one goal we move on to another.

One thing I have noticed is that the more we know the more we yearn. Take one of my favourite hobbies for example... cars. I used to obsess about cars. Buying magazines week in week out, sometimes subscribing. The more information I found out, the more I read about new technology and design the more I would want the latest and fastest car. The more I knew the more I wanted to compare my car with others in its class. But now, having weaned myself away from such literature I know relatively little about the modern cars being brought to market today. Which is why I am content with what I have. I know no better and I don'€™t really care either. I love what I have and I don't need to compare.

They say knowledge is power... but power just brings on greed and lust. Life is full of temptations which we do not try to avoid. Nor do we appreciate what we have around us. We are constantly worried about what we may have missed out on... when really, the only thing we miss is our own life.

I wouldn't say I am depressed at this moment in time neither am I in a reflective mood. What I am experiencing is a moment of clarity. This is my own clarity of course and I do not expect anyone to feel the same. One man's clarity is another's mud!

Ramble, ramble... that's what I seem to be doing now. Until another thought comes to my mind...