Inspired by a Dark Knight Rises

Often I write to express feelings of emotion, sometimes happy, sometimes sad but not usually of observation and insight... well, tonight is different. I felt compelled to write my thoughts and perception of the world and how a film incites thought.

Dark Knight Rises was a better than average film that followed very nicely from its predecessor, The Dark Knight. But it's not the overall film that spawned my thoughts and drove me to consider the premise of the loss of law and order.

For those who have not seen the film the basic synopsis is of good versus evil, order versus chaos... but is it really those things? 

We live in a society where our actions are governed by abiding to laws and morals. These are set by the people that sit in positions of higher power. We have to live by these laws because we supposedly 'elected' these people to rule, to govern, to ensure equality and continual existence of the human race. 

The film flips this upside down and the powers that be, depicted as the wealthy, are usurped by thugs who trap the normal 'peace keepers' (the police) and allows the 'baddies' to take power through fear and agression. What evolves is a 'new order' where the 'people' run the city of Gotham. How they run is by common law akin to communist rule. One leader, self elected, where law is delivered by tanks and guns. 

Criminals are now running the city and brandishing their own 'laws'. It is at this point that the 'rebels' against this new dictator fight back. In this case the 'rebels' are the police and of course Batman. 

Now what I see is the people in power oppressing the weak and the weak fighting back. This is no different to how the film started where the main antagonist was starting the rebellion and plotting and planning in order to take power.

History is wrought with 'evil dictators' trying to rise up and take power... to lead their people to rule the world. The more they are oppressed, the more they fight back.

My words are not truly reflecting my thoughts at the moment and I am writing my immediate thoughts rather than through planning. But my basic impression is that the the people in power are often the rich and it is the poor who suffer and have to resort to more 'old skool' violence. This is compounded by the current state of the economy where countries are crumbling but the rich continue to get rich whilst the poor get poorer. And as if to compound this thought train the BBC website just published an article claiming the wealthy have over $21tn ($21,000,000,000,000) stashed away, equivalent to the combined economies of Japan and USA! 

Is there a need for such wealth? What is the money doing? How about giving away 10% of this wealth? Would they really miss it? Would it affect their lifestyle?

To be honest, it's not like I come from a poor family and we're probably better off than many people, but we're far from being millionaires or anything. I live a comfortable life with an above average salary and family backing that will allow me to retire without the reliance on state pensions. Middle of the line makes me feel indifferent about the rich and the poor. 

But it is this lethargy that is destroying our economy.  

Day 2

It's the start of a new day... do I feel any better? Not sure. I don't feel any worse so that's a good start.

Thinking about things, maybe it's the hectic nature of the week I have had and will be having... I just feel like I need time away from everything. But let's not shy away from my responsibilities... and just get on with it.

Returning after almost 3 years away...

So what brings me back here? I don't think it's any one thing, rather a number of things.

Since my trip to Everest Base Camp I have been back to the Himalayas again to the Annapurna Base Camp, reached the top of Mt Toubkal in the Atlas Mountains (Morocco), taken up dragon boat racing, spent 2 months working in Sydney, paddled 30km through the canals of Venice with my dragon boat team, cycled London to Brighton to raise funds for the British Heart Foundation, changed jobs, changed cars, played 5-a-side football... so many things!

I've also been in and out of relationships and currently in a confused place with one now.

But more recently I also discovered a tumour in my salivary glands. It is benign so there's no real concern at the moment. However, the human brain likes to play devils advocate and I find myself constantly in a negative frame of mind. I'm trying to not let it get to me, but it is. Everything is.

I get concerned about the chance it might turn aggressive, I worry about my mortality... I think about what I am leaving behind and to who...There's so much that my head hurts thinking about it.

This along with a relationship that feels nothing like a relationship... it just makes me want to be able to go "ctrl-a" followed by "delete".

A bit of a depressing re-birth to my blog, but having a place to vent is the only consolation for me... things will improve in the future. Hopefully!

One more week to go...

Not long till I go to Everest now. Time has passed by so quickly and unexpectedly and in a weeks time I will be at the airport waiting for my flight to Bahrain before catching a connecting flight to Kathmandu.

I say that time has passed unexpectedly, but I have been increasing my cardio work out at the gym and I can honestly say that I am feeling the fittest I have felt in YEARS! I can row 7km in 30mins… I can step 6km in an hour on the Cross Trainer… I can climb 1000ft in 12 minutes on the VersaClimber… The only problem (well I feel it is) is my weight. I am now 17st (240lbs or 108kg), and that will be significant when I am on the trek. The plus side is that I am carrying a lot of muscle opposed to fat… although I am not as toned as I would like to be.

Anyway, fitness aside, I also feel pretty healthy and I am also pretty conscious in what I eat now. I haven’t even been ill for almost 8 months, the previous time was when I had my head shaved and I was basically acclimatising to a lack of insulation.

So, what am I expecting from this trip to Everest. Well, one thing I am looking forward to is the solitude and the isolation of being on a remote mountain where communication with the rest of the world is limited. For over 10 days I will be not contactable and will only have my fellow trekkers to talk to (ranging from 22 to over 60 years old).

The other things I am looking forward to are, being 5km closer to the stars in the skies, the lack of light pollution corrupting the night view, passing clouds on my way up, the clear air, the challenge of the climb… There are so many things to look forward to I fear I am building up my expectations too highly.

It’s weird to think how much I moan about being single, yet the one holiday I have been on in years is one where I will be alone. Not in the sense that I won’t have people around me, but I will have no one close that I know with me.

Moving away from the trip I have also looked into doing a few courses. TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) is one, and the other is to train to become a fitness instructor… both something that will be of use to me in HK when I make the move at the end of the year. I am leaving my options open in terms of what I will do in HK. I have a lot of ideas and thought as to what I can do and I don’t want to limit myself.

There is still a lot of things for me to do in the UK before I can move, but basically I will not do anything till I get back from Everest.

I don’t know if I will be adding another entry to this blog before I leave… If not, then wish me luck and I’ll talk to you on my return.

Challenges

Only me second entry of the year... but that's because it has been a very busy start to the year for me. There has been a lot of change in the month of January. Although the year is a month old, it feels as if no time has passed at all.

The anticipation of going to Everest is building slowly and gradually I am getting everything together in preparation. But in the meantime my workload has increased considerably which has distracted me from meeting friends and I have become more anti social. Nonetheless I have continued going to the gym and I am working harder than ever to get myself in the best shape possible for the trek.

Something that has been on my mind for a while is how I feel unchallenged at the moment. I feel as though I am alive just waiting for something to challenge me, but without a challenge until Everest I feel a bit lost.

There has been a lot on my mind lately but I find it had to express these thoughts into coherent sentences. Stress at home with demanding parents, mind kept busy with the thought of Hong Kong never far away, the prospects available to me when I move, the possibility of a 'promotion' of sorts at work, tenants moving out of my house, preparing equipment for Everest... the list goes on. But nothing is actually forcing me to challenge myself. It's just a case of thoughts and more thoughts.

With Lent starting tomorrow I decided to give up something for 40 days. Other than quitting smoking last year, I haven't undertaken anything like this ever. I haved decided to give up all forms of liquid other than water... no tea, coffee, fizzy drinks, juice, alcohol... JUST WATER for 40 days. In a way I think this will be even more challenging than giving up smoking!

In the past I have always written about things that annoy me, things that depress me... but lately there's nothing to complain about. And I guess thats why I haven't really updated my blog. It's always easier to complain than to give praise.

Moments of clarity are hard to come by these days... I live each day and fill each waking hour. Maybe when I have more time to solidify my thoughts I will put some more effort in my blog...

2007

Last year was one of the best years of my life. It all started with me giving up smoking after about 10 years. On hindsight I don’t even know why I smoked in the first place! It has taken my entire life in my 20s! But now I am rid of it I feel so much better.

However, it was not all fine and dandy because my will power was severely tested in the second week of the year when I had an accident involving one of my uncles cars and another uncles garage… it would have been so easy for me to just say ‘sod it’ and start smoking again, but I didn’t. Although it was not an event to be proud of, I was surprised at my will power to stay off the smoking.

For the first few months of the year I was still kick boxing and going to the driving range regularly. It was my only means of physical activity and also a means of getting out of the house.

Work was going well and the company was taking shape in the form of a new manager and a set structure to work towards. In terms of work, 2007 was a very successful year for me. I enjoy what I do and I am growing with the company. All in all it’s been a positive step forward and indicates progression after my MBA.

Since stopping smoking I started to think more and more about my future and what I want to do… what I want in the future. I realise that time is not going to be on my side for long and I still feel as though I haven’t achieved much in life.

I took some time off work in April to go to Hong Kong and visit my grandmother. It seemed to me that the only holidays I have taken in the last 10 years has mainly been to Hong Kong. In terms of travelling I have been to various European cities, but the last real holiday I went on was to Salzburg with my girlfriend at the time about 5 years ago and the time before that was Las Vegas which was pretty much 10 years ago.

Many things were on my mind this year. My 30th birthday was coming up and I needed something to lift me. I felt I still had enough in the tank to pursue rugby as a sport again. I decided to join a gym and get fit. I joined in April and gave myself plenty of time to train and get fit for the start of the rugby season. I did get a chance at a college reunion Sevens Tournament where I injured my right knee and ankle. It pretty much sealed my fate as an EX-rugby player… But I continued with the gym.

It was a culmination of getting fit and also a permanent lookout for a decent holiday that I stumbled upon the idea of going to Mount Everest. I would like to have someone to go on holiday with, but being single its difficult… especially when all my friends are coupled up! So I booked a solo trip to Everest with total strangers. It is a challenge as much as a holiday. But the personal reward to have been to Everest and seen the sight with my own eyes is something I would not want to miss. Not long to go now… just over 7 weeks!

Personal life was a bit of a let down I suppose (only for the fact I have been single for another year!). However I did go and have a mid life crisis, as everyone calls it, by buying myself a new car which is a convertible. My car was 5 years old with over 102k miles from new. It was getting on a bit and it wouldn’t be long before I had to spend money on keeping it running. So I decided to trade it in and live ‘young’ for once (although it’s a more mature car than the old one).

Love life was not very exciting. I had a thing for a girl for the entire year… but nothing happened because she has a boyfriend and I just didn’t have a chance. I may be sounding bitter, but her relationship with her boyfriend doesn’t seem to be the best, but I wasn’t going to say anything. What will be… will be. I have no intention of interfering with someone’s relationship. Its up to them to work it out. I just feel sad I didn’t meet the girl in a different period in my life. I guess the same can be said of my ex really.

Speaking of relationships… I did meet up with girl I dated whilst studying my MBA. She was over from China for work and it was good to catch up. It was very different as we broke up over the stress of the workload. But in a different environment I was much more laid back and without the pressure she seemed less intense too!

I might as well continue on the relationship front, but this time its regarding my best friend and his relationship. He and his girlfriend has been together for around 7 years and to be honest they should be getting married, but he somehow ended up falling for another girl and things got complicated. I was dragged in and it got MESSY. Its not a great end to the year and it was something that could have been dealt with a lot better. I just hope it concludes well for all parties involved.

On a more positive note, I took another trip to Hong Kong at the end of November. I went alone and I had a great time. It was probably the most enjoyable week I spent in Hong Kong and I met up with some old friends as well as making some new ones. Lots of conversations took place and I suddenly felt like moving to Hong Kong on a permanent basis. It’s not 100% but it is 60/40 in favour of Hong Kong at the moment.

Oh… in amongst everything I shaved my head in June. It’s the second time I have done it and I have continued keeping it short now. I don’t think I will be growing my hair any more… it’s more comfortable and easy to manage! I even save on going to the barbers on a monthly basis!

I should also mention one of the best things to have happened in 2007, and that was when I bought myself a couple of hamsters. Though they were from the same litter, they ended up fighting and in separate cages. But they are both lovely and furry little balls of fun! Makes me smile every time I seem them.

I started 2007 as a non smoking 29 year old with a Civic Type R, single, employed and a little unfit. I ended the year as a 30 year old with a Honda S2000, single, still employed, much fitter than I have been in over 10 years and the owner of 2 hamsters Mini and Monster. My original 5 year plan had a spanner thrown in the works with my decision to move to Hong Kong… and now I have to plan my route to Hong Kong and what I will do there.

Ideally I would have liked to have met the girl of my dreams (maybe I have already?) and be looking forward to celebrating our first anniversary… but that never happened. Still there’s always 2008 to look forward to!

First things first for 2008, get back into the gym, prepare for Everest trip, sell one house, organise stag do for cousins wedding, turn 31 :( , apply for jobs in Hong Kong, cousin gets married and I fly off to start my new life in Hong Kong!

Let’s see what actually happens in 12months time….

Waiting for my flight to HK

The day has arrived and I'm at the airport waiting for my flight to Hong Kong. I am quite lucky that I have somehow been upgraded to World Traveller Plus and given access to the BA lounge. It's all thanks to my friend who has been very kind to me and I will have to treat her to dinner or at least give her some flowers!

Anyway... many people have been asking whether I am excited that I am going to HK. And to be honest I'm not. I love the experience of being at the airport, but HK, as a destination, is not a great holiday place. I really like going back to see my grandmother, but other than that, there's not much to do.

In fact this time I am going back alone and there's not a single member of my family. I'm fending for myself! LOL

Actually another reason why I'm not as happy about going back to HK this time is the fact I am going to be with my friend and his recent ex. It's an awkward situation and I don't know how it will turn out. This could be a very LONG week or it could be very short... I'll just have to wait and see!

My 24 hour 'bug'

Ok, I'm not actually ill with a bug in the normal sense, but something 'bugged' me for 24 hours.

I had lost my bluetooth headset. It's not a major issue as I find I am using it less and less these days. But the fact remains, I wanted to know where it was so that I COULD use it if I wished. I searched high and low and turned my room inside out, but I could not find it. I even looked in my car whilst just in shorts and T-shirt in the middle of the night, but to no avail...

For the next 24 hours I constantly thought about where I could havd left it and where I used it last. But I couldn't remember. I had to let it lie and all I could do was contemplate whether to buy a new one or wait till my upgrade is due so that I may get a free one. The normal wired headset could suffice for a couple of months... but it REALLY bugged me!

I am one of those people who are not happy until problems are resolved. I cannot just 'let it be'. It's something that has become apparent to my work colleagues who I am brutally honest, but ultimately professional, with them. If something is not right I will want it corrected, if I need something done, I expect it to be done.

Anyway, I am deviating. In the end I cleared my head whilst going to the gym and I knew full well the bluetooth headset had to be in my car. Where in my car, I did not know, but it was there. Considering it is only a 2 seater it cannot really go far. So after the gym I searched for it under the seats, and lo and behold... THERE it was! Under the passenger seat!

You cannot imagine the happiness I felt at that point. It was a sense of satisfaction, knowing I had solved a problem.

I guess a healthy body equals a healthy mind. Having been to the gym so frequently I am certain I am in the best shape since my teenage years. My heart is stronger; I am stronger both physically and mentally. And I need to be prepared for when I go to Everest in 3 months time.

So, my 24 hour 'bug' came and went... In the end I just needed to be patient and keep a clear mind...

Family, Tradition, Health and Mount Everest

It’s been another long wait for a new blog. People with little complaints have little to say I suppose.

Last time I left feeling rather relaxed and chilled out. Other than dishing out my, limited, words of advice to a number of people I have been put under a bit of stress. Some my own doing and some from others close to me.

Firstly I want to talk about a conversation I had with my mum one night last week. It was quite intense and I really opened up and said exactly how I felt. The flow of the conversation stemmed from the desire of the younger generations (me and my cousins) to go out and do their own thing whilst the parents are very much against it. For example, taking part in amateur Thai Boxing fights which my 17 year old cousin is very interested in, and the fact my brother is looking to buy a second commercial property to open another coffee shop.

My parents and their peers are very protective of us, their children, and rightly so! But sometimes this is very suffocating a leaves us doubting our own abilities and the desire to better ourselves due to the ‘fear’ that they drive into our minds from their limited experience. I argue that they have built success upon calculated risks and with literally no capital and no education, whilst we have the backing, if necessary, and education to emulate and supersede their success really.

What it all boiled down to is the fact that our parents have provided us with such a platform from their hard work, they are reluctant to let us fall and fail. But I argue that it is in failure that we learn and succeed. This led to the argument of the children not respecting the parents and forgetting our ‘traditions’. The ‘tradition’ of please the parents in everything that we do and ensuring they do not have to ‘worry’ about us. Now this is where I opened up and told my mum exactly what I thought about her and her ‘worries’.

At no point do my cousins or I disrespect our parents and our elders. We are very much a close knit family and the only vice any of the family has is that a few of them smoke. No one takes drugs, no one is addicted to gambling, no one is linked to any ‘Chinese Organisations’ and we do relatively little to make our parents worry. But is that fair on us? In keeping our parents ‘sweet’ are we not compromising our integrity and own ambitions? My mum said there should be give from both parties, but the problem is that each individual places a different emphasis on what is most important.

To my cousin, Thai boxing maybe his top priority, but because he wants his parents not to worry he is not going to take part. However, for the parent, they may view drinking heavily as the most negative action which they want stopped whereas my cousin may think its nothing out of the ordinary. Each individual has a different perception to actions which may seem minor to one but major to another.

I stressed that no matter what we, as children, do, we cannot control our parents emotions and how they feel. Whilst we may think we are doing something that does not warrant our parents to worry, they may view it very differently.

This tradition of pleasing the parents is out of date then, I argued. My mum was not accepting this and said this is how it has been for generations in China. I said we are in UK and if these traditions exist, then we have no chance to excel because we will not be allowed to take risks. This did not go down well, but then I have always been strong minded. Although I did reassure my mum that whatever I did I always considered her and my fathers concern first.

All this happened in amidst 3 members of the family going into A&E and private clinic for various conditions and planned operations.

My 41 year old uncle and his dad, my grandfather both went into A&E due to stomach pains. My uncle had appendicitis and inflamed intestines and required immediate operation to remove the appendix and some of the large intestine. My grandfather has gall stones. He knew about them 5-6 years ago but chose to ignore them as they we too small to worry about at the time. Unfortunately he left it too late to get them removed as he developed an infection so he had to be on antibiotics and also be on a drip as he could not take any food due to the pain. Finally my dad went to have keyhole surgery on his left shoulder to remove excess bone which prevents full mobility in his arm.

All three are now out of the hospital and clinics, but my grandfather will not have the gall stones removed in December. My dad is recovering well, but is feeling tired due to being fatigued and jet lagged after returning from HK and also from being under general anaesthetic.

Our lives and our health is never questioned until something bad happens. I, on the other hand, have chosen to remain fit and healthy by eating right and exercising regularly. I know that healthier people than me have dropped down dead in an instance, but I can only do what I can, which coincides nicely with my now booked trip to Mount Everest Base Camp.

Tonight I got home from work and had dinner. I sat down half changed and ready to go to the gym, but I felt drowsy and heavy eyed. I almost fell asleep but forced myself to get in the car and drive. Once step at a time and once I hit the road, I knew I had won and I was going to have a good workout at the gym. My drive is now to get fit and ready to trek Everest for 8 hours a day, 11 days straight, culminating to reaching a height of 5500m on the highest mountain in the world. I can’t wait!

My next immediate diversion is a week off to Hong Kong to see my grandmother and to see some friends. Other than taking a week off in March to go to Hong Kong and another week off to work at my brothers café, I have not taken any holidays this year. I still have 4 days left to take which I will carry over for next years trip to Everest in February. I might also try to go to Hawaii next summer to see the sunrise whilst coasting down 38km of an active volcano on a bike.

I think I just need to set personal targets all the time… in fact we all do really, otherwise we will never move forwards, only sideways.

New friends, old friends and some words of wisdom?

I have been pretty lazy lately… I guess I have nothing to complain about which is why I haven’t been blogging.

Lots has happened and I have found myself a couple of friends to keep me occupied. They are so funny and cheeky and they definitely keep me on my toes! Nope, not just any old mates. I got myself a couple of Russian dwarf hamsters! Soooo much fun but also a real handful. Very cute though! :D

Anyway, back on topic…

My life hasn’t been going that well in love, life and career… but yet I have found myself dispensing advice to numerous individuals. There are a couple asking me for advice on love lost and love emerging… people turning to me for advice on a career change and someone looking to start their own business… another friend confiding in me to keep a personal secret until he is ready.

Of all the people they know, why pick me? I really do not know.why.

My life is in no way perfect and I am struggling to find a way out… Love? Ha… what a joke! Career… well, I have a job but what are the prospects?

Nonetheless I am in a stable position at the moment and to be honest I am biding my time and planning my trip to Everest. I have not smoked for almost 10 months now. I feel healthy, I look fitter and more toned and I have improved my fitness. I have my family and a newborn cousin… so really what else do I need in life?

What do we need in life? We need food and shelter, friends and family around us… We need our health and anything more is a bonus. Maybe we expect too much in life which is why I am much less demanding of people and much more forgiving of others.

I guess it’s my laid back nature that makes me approachable to others… Sometimes I wish I have someone to turn to myself. And in a way I do… Here.