Achievements

Over the years I have accumulated a number of medals, trophies, plaques, certificates, etc... but I look at them and then I think about what I did to achieve them. To tell you the truth some things are just not that significant and just by virtue of participation led to certain 'medals'. 

I've cycled from London to Southend and London to Brighton (twice - once in the dark) and I have got a medal for my troubles, but was it challenging? Did I really feel fulfilled? I've 'won' a number of medals from dragon boat racing, but nothing of significant 'value' in the sport. 

I look back at the things I have done and certain things that have led to a 'medal' of sorts are few and far between. My first major certificate I remember obtaining was a 'Gold Certificate' in a National maths test where you scored points for correct answers and lost points for incorrect answers... I got over 90% score. It took me by surprise but it was my own accomplishment and one that I cannot remember clearly doing, but remember the day I had to walk up in assembly to collect my certificate. It was a 'big thing' apparently. 5 people out of 90 got 'gold'. 

Other significant wins have been in Rugby 7s tournaments where my team mates and I fought for each other and played the best we had played ever to win a couple of tournaments. It was pretty special... and although I have plaques to show for it, I don't need them for me to remember those two days. 

Then came the most significant achievement so far... passing my driving test. I know it's not a big deal. Everyone who learns to drive will pass one day, but it has made the biggest difference in my life. I would not know what to do if I cannot drive in UK. 

My degree was a bit disappointing in that I had no interest in it for my own personal satisfaction, but more for my parents. However my Masters was completely different and I took a year away from friends, family and relationships to finish it. It was tough, but totally worth it. 

After this I was a bit lost... what other challenges do I have left in life? I found it in the form of the Himalayas and Everest Base Camp. Again it was out of pure will and determination that got me to the top and back again. I can't really describe how it felt and what it meant to me, but it was amazing. 

The latest sense of personal achievement comes in the form of leading my dragon boat team to significant success over a race season. I didn't know I had it in me, but I delivered the best I could and I feel proud of what I did. 

Along the way there are a number of things that I have 'lost' and failed in... and those were significant lessons to learn in life. Then there are other less important or carry less in value in my mind... but people looking in will only see the shimmer of medals. Never will they realise the importance of personal achievement that requires no trinkets to give a sense of self satisfaction. 

In 6-7 weeks time I am planning on going to Coast Rica to volunteer at a turtle conservation centre. Will I get a medal or trinket for my participation... probably not, but I know I will feel a greater sense of achievement and satisfaction because of the experience. 

Things of importance will always stay in our minds. We will never forget the moments we feel proudest, nor will we forget the moments where we let ourselves down. Both serve as a purpose to drive us to make the right decisions in life and reach personal milestones that will give us our version of success.

London

Over the years I have spent a lot of time driving to London to meet my friends and eat. Today I drove to London as usual, but then I thought how much things have changed and what going to 'London' means in present day versus 15 years ago. 

Back when I first went to uni in London, going to London meant Chinatown, Leicester Square, Soho, Namco and Trocadero. Of course Chinatown, Leicester Square and Soho still remains, but Namco and Trocadero are long gone. 

Today I drove to 'London' and I realised my destination has changed considerably from central London to more the outskirts. Of course a number of significant venues, restaurants and landmarks are still 'central' and on occasions, still options for visiting, but mainly I head East to where I dragon boat and where my friends live. Clubbing in London has switched to trendy bars around Shoreditch. Eating out is more about food quality rather than location. Meeting up with friends takes place in homes rather than out and about. Get togethers usually mean a day out somewhere out of the city. 

I drove an 'old' route to Picadilly Circus today and so much has changed in terms of traffic due to the congestion charging zone. But again, my destination was actually further out. On my way home I didn't go the way I came, but rather via a new route I had learned based on where I was heading home from.

London means something different to me today than it did 15 years ago. The single yellow lines I used to park at have been removed. The roads have changed. Reasons to be in London has evolved. I think I have gotten all I want and need from this city and I feel it is the right time to leave. 

It's been an amazing place and for various different reasons I have found myself knowing lots of areas around London and though it's not like a Taxi drivers 'knowledge' I have lived in the North (uni), driven in from the West (usual route in to London), know the South (friends) and also have a lot of knowledge around East London (dating a girl and having lived there). I probably know my way around London better than my 'home town' just because I spend so much time there and drive a lot. It's probably cost me a fortune in fuel, but it has been an amazing 15 years. 

I hope I can find a new home and my way around Hong Kong in a similar fashion...

Good bye... I'll miss you...

No, this time I haven't been ditched by a girl. This time I am saying good bye to my beloved car. A car I have driven for the last 5 years and one which has done 102,000 miles with me.

Tomorrow I am part exchanging my Civic Type R (RN02YUS) for a Honda S2000. It is a big change for me. Usually the thoughtful and considerate one, choosing cars that can serve a greater purpose. But this time I am buying a 2 seater sports car with no thought of practicality other than to fit my golf clubs in the boot.

Recently I have found myself driving less and I am rarely giving lifts to others... Coupled with the fact we have 2 big Mercedes and a hatchback at home anyway, I don't need to be quite so practical as I can drive any one of the other cars anyway!

Deep down I feel as though the Civic has been the best car I have ever owned and will always be the best. It did everything well and got me through so much, from moving home from Basingstoke to Bedford, to visiting my girlfriend (at the time), many trips to the airport, driving friends home and lots more!

***This was actually written on 24th May 2007 but I only just realised I didn't publish it***

Writing helps...

It's not every day that I write in my blog. Maybe I have been lazy? Or had I just forgotten that writing helps me come to terms with things. Looking back I realised that I knew this and I write regularly to reaffirm some of my feelings and emotions and also to record my moments of joy or sadness. Lately I have been documenting things in my email drafts page because usually I am writing to someone with the intention of sending, but I don't. Why? Because having written it down and gotten things off my chest I feel relaxed and I feel I can breathe again.

Today I decided to give more time to my blog and put down in writing some of the things I feel, have done and plan to do. Not everything is relevant to anyone who reads this, and sometimes it probably isn't relevant to me, but one day, when I get old and read back on some of the things I said, did, planned... I can see where I went wrong, what I did right and how I changed over time as a person. 

Being away from my blog for so long there's a part of me that wants to fill the page with words that describe the time that has passed. But it would be a long blog and almost be novel-like. I don't want to do that. 

The simple truth is that over the years I have lost myself and who I am. I got lost in other peoples lives and trying to incorporate myself in to their world. Love is a weird and wonderful thing but it's never easy. I've had my heart broken a few times over the years, but I also know I've broken some hearts too. Life is pretty fair, what comes around goes around, but I know one day it will work itself out. We all end up dead and equal in the end. 

So why now? Well, I've made a decision to move to HK. Whether it is the right decision I don't really know. But then 'right' is subjective. I know that I won't be any happier staying in the UK and I won't change my life doing the same thing again and again. Einstein defined insanity as 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results'. I get that now... it's time for a change.

In light of my 'awakening' I signed up for a TEFL course and I'm on my way to becoming an English Teacher. It's a major change in my career path and a change in lifestyle, but having done what I do for so many years and I never really felt 'happy' in the roles I have taken I would rather earn less and do something rewarding. 

Hong Kong is a place I have often talked about living and working, but never really knew why. Moments of clarity are few and far between in our hectic lives and this just made sense to me at this juncture. I think I thought about moving in 2003... that's 9, coming on 10 years ago. What would my life be like had I made the move? Who knows... and does it matter? No really... I am who I am because of my past and my experiences. 

I'm looking forward to a change, a challenge and a fresh start... I promise that I will blog more often...

Inspired by a Dark Knight Rises

Often I write to express feelings of emotion, sometimes happy, sometimes sad but not usually of observation and insight... well, tonight is different. I felt compelled to write my thoughts and perception of the world and how a film incites thought.

Dark Knight Rises was a better than average film that followed very nicely from its predecessor, The Dark Knight. But it's not the overall film that spawned my thoughts and drove me to consider the premise of the loss of law and order.

For those who have not seen the film the basic synopsis is of good versus evil, order versus chaos... but is it really those things? 

We live in a society where our actions are governed by abiding to laws and morals. These are set by the people that sit in positions of higher power. We have to live by these laws because we supposedly 'elected' these people to rule, to govern, to ensure equality and continual existence of the human race. 

The film flips this upside down and the powers that be, depicted as the wealthy, are usurped by thugs who trap the normal 'peace keepers' (the police) and allows the 'baddies' to take power through fear and agression. What evolves is a 'new order' where the 'people' run the city of Gotham. How they run is by common law akin to communist rule. One leader, self elected, where law is delivered by tanks and guns. 

Criminals are now running the city and brandishing their own 'laws'. It is at this point that the 'rebels' against this new dictator fight back. In this case the 'rebels' are the police and of course Batman. 

Now what I see is the people in power oppressing the weak and the weak fighting back. This is no different to how the film started where the main antagonist was starting the rebellion and plotting and planning in order to take power.

History is wrought with 'evil dictators' trying to rise up and take power... to lead their people to rule the world. The more they are oppressed, the more they fight back.

My words are not truly reflecting my thoughts at the moment and I am writing my immediate thoughts rather than through planning. But my basic impression is that the the people in power are often the rich and it is the poor who suffer and have to resort to more 'old skool' violence. This is compounded by the current state of the economy where countries are crumbling but the rich continue to get rich whilst the poor get poorer. And as if to compound this thought train the BBC website just published an article claiming the wealthy have over $21tn ($21,000,000,000,000) stashed away, equivalent to the combined economies of Japan and USA! 

Is there a need for such wealth? What is the money doing? How about giving away 10% of this wealth? Would they really miss it? Would it affect their lifestyle?

To be honest, it's not like I come from a poor family and we're probably better off than many people, but we're far from being millionaires or anything. I live a comfortable life with an above average salary and family backing that will allow me to retire without the reliance on state pensions. Middle of the line makes me feel indifferent about the rich and the poor. 

But it is this lethargy that is destroying our economy.  

Day 2

It's the start of a new day... do I feel any better? Not sure. I don't feel any worse so that's a good start.

Thinking about things, maybe it's the hectic nature of the week I have had and will be having... I just feel like I need time away from everything. But let's not shy away from my responsibilities... and just get on with it.

Returning after almost 3 years away...

So what brings me back here? I don't think it's any one thing, rather a number of things.

Since my trip to Everest Base Camp I have been back to the Himalayas again to the Annapurna Base Camp, reached the top of Mt Toubkal in the Atlas Mountains (Morocco), taken up dragon boat racing, spent 2 months working in Sydney, paddled 30km through the canals of Venice with my dragon boat team, cycled London to Brighton to raise funds for the British Heart Foundation, changed jobs, changed cars, played 5-a-side football... so many things!

I've also been in and out of relationships and currently in a confused place with one now.

But more recently I also discovered a tumour in my salivary glands. It is benign so there's no real concern at the moment. However, the human brain likes to play devils advocate and I find myself constantly in a negative frame of mind. I'm trying to not let it get to me, but it is. Everything is.

I get concerned about the chance it might turn aggressive, I worry about my mortality... I think about what I am leaving behind and to who...There's so much that my head hurts thinking about it.

This along with a relationship that feels nothing like a relationship... it just makes me want to be able to go "ctrl-a" followed by "delete".

A bit of a depressing re-birth to my blog, but having a place to vent is the only consolation for me... things will improve in the future. Hopefully!

One more week to go...

Not long till I go to Everest now. Time has passed by so quickly and unexpectedly and in a weeks time I will be at the airport waiting for my flight to Bahrain before catching a connecting flight to Kathmandu.

I say that time has passed unexpectedly, but I have been increasing my cardio work out at the gym and I can honestly say that I am feeling the fittest I have felt in YEARS! I can row 7km in 30mins… I can step 6km in an hour on the Cross Trainer… I can climb 1000ft in 12 minutes on the VersaClimber… The only problem (well I feel it is) is my weight. I am now 17st (240lbs or 108kg), and that will be significant when I am on the trek. The plus side is that I am carrying a lot of muscle opposed to fat… although I am not as toned as I would like to be.

Anyway, fitness aside, I also feel pretty healthy and I am also pretty conscious in what I eat now. I haven’t even been ill for almost 8 months, the previous time was when I had my head shaved and I was basically acclimatising to a lack of insulation.

So, what am I expecting from this trip to Everest. Well, one thing I am looking forward to is the solitude and the isolation of being on a remote mountain where communication with the rest of the world is limited. For over 10 days I will be not contactable and will only have my fellow trekkers to talk to (ranging from 22 to over 60 years old).

The other things I am looking forward to are, being 5km closer to the stars in the skies, the lack of light pollution corrupting the night view, passing clouds on my way up, the clear air, the challenge of the climb… There are so many things to look forward to I fear I am building up my expectations too highly.

It’s weird to think how much I moan about being single, yet the one holiday I have been on in years is one where I will be alone. Not in the sense that I won’t have people around me, but I will have no one close that I know with me.

Moving away from the trip I have also looked into doing a few courses. TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) is one, and the other is to train to become a fitness instructor… both something that will be of use to me in HK when I make the move at the end of the year. I am leaving my options open in terms of what I will do in HK. I have a lot of ideas and thought as to what I can do and I don’t want to limit myself.

There is still a lot of things for me to do in the UK before I can move, but basically I will not do anything till I get back from Everest.

I don’t know if I will be adding another entry to this blog before I leave… If not, then wish me luck and I’ll talk to you on my return.

Challenges

Only me second entry of the year... but that's because it has been a very busy start to the year for me. There has been a lot of change in the month of January. Although the year is a month old, it feels as if no time has passed at all.

The anticipation of going to Everest is building slowly and gradually I am getting everything together in preparation. But in the meantime my workload has increased considerably which has distracted me from meeting friends and I have become more anti social. Nonetheless I have continued going to the gym and I am working harder than ever to get myself in the best shape possible for the trek.

Something that has been on my mind for a while is how I feel unchallenged at the moment. I feel as though I am alive just waiting for something to challenge me, but without a challenge until Everest I feel a bit lost.

There has been a lot on my mind lately but I find it had to express these thoughts into coherent sentences. Stress at home with demanding parents, mind kept busy with the thought of Hong Kong never far away, the prospects available to me when I move, the possibility of a 'promotion' of sorts at work, tenants moving out of my house, preparing equipment for Everest... the list goes on. But nothing is actually forcing me to challenge myself. It's just a case of thoughts and more thoughts.

With Lent starting tomorrow I decided to give up something for 40 days. Other than quitting smoking last year, I haven't undertaken anything like this ever. I haved decided to give up all forms of liquid other than water... no tea, coffee, fizzy drinks, juice, alcohol... JUST WATER for 40 days. In a way I think this will be even more challenging than giving up smoking!

In the past I have always written about things that annoy me, things that depress me... but lately there's nothing to complain about. And I guess thats why I haven't really updated my blog. It's always easier to complain than to give praise.

Moments of clarity are hard to come by these days... I live each day and fill each waking hour. Maybe when I have more time to solidify my thoughts I will put some more effort in my blog...

2007

Last year was one of the best years of my life. It all started with me giving up smoking after about 10 years. On hindsight I don’t even know why I smoked in the first place! It has taken my entire life in my 20s! But now I am rid of it I feel so much better.

However, it was not all fine and dandy because my will power was severely tested in the second week of the year when I had an accident involving one of my uncles cars and another uncles garage… it would have been so easy for me to just say ‘sod it’ and start smoking again, but I didn’t. Although it was not an event to be proud of, I was surprised at my will power to stay off the smoking.

For the first few months of the year I was still kick boxing and going to the driving range regularly. It was my only means of physical activity and also a means of getting out of the house.

Work was going well and the company was taking shape in the form of a new manager and a set structure to work towards. In terms of work, 2007 was a very successful year for me. I enjoy what I do and I am growing with the company. All in all it’s been a positive step forward and indicates progression after my MBA.

Since stopping smoking I started to think more and more about my future and what I want to do… what I want in the future. I realise that time is not going to be on my side for long and I still feel as though I haven’t achieved much in life.

I took some time off work in April to go to Hong Kong and visit my grandmother. It seemed to me that the only holidays I have taken in the last 10 years has mainly been to Hong Kong. In terms of travelling I have been to various European cities, but the last real holiday I went on was to Salzburg with my girlfriend at the time about 5 years ago and the time before that was Las Vegas which was pretty much 10 years ago.

Many things were on my mind this year. My 30th birthday was coming up and I needed something to lift me. I felt I still had enough in the tank to pursue rugby as a sport again. I decided to join a gym and get fit. I joined in April and gave myself plenty of time to train and get fit for the start of the rugby season. I did get a chance at a college reunion Sevens Tournament where I injured my right knee and ankle. It pretty much sealed my fate as an EX-rugby player… But I continued with the gym.

It was a culmination of getting fit and also a permanent lookout for a decent holiday that I stumbled upon the idea of going to Mount Everest. I would like to have someone to go on holiday with, but being single its difficult… especially when all my friends are coupled up! So I booked a solo trip to Everest with total strangers. It is a challenge as much as a holiday. But the personal reward to have been to Everest and seen the sight with my own eyes is something I would not want to miss. Not long to go now… just over 7 weeks!

Personal life was a bit of a let down I suppose (only for the fact I have been single for another year!). However I did go and have a mid life crisis, as everyone calls it, by buying myself a new car which is a convertible. My car was 5 years old with over 102k miles from new. It was getting on a bit and it wouldn’t be long before I had to spend money on keeping it running. So I decided to trade it in and live ‘young’ for once (although it’s a more mature car than the old one).

Love life was not very exciting. I had a thing for a girl for the entire year… but nothing happened because she has a boyfriend and I just didn’t have a chance. I may be sounding bitter, but her relationship with her boyfriend doesn’t seem to be the best, but I wasn’t going to say anything. What will be… will be. I have no intention of interfering with someone’s relationship. Its up to them to work it out. I just feel sad I didn’t meet the girl in a different period in my life. I guess the same can be said of my ex really.

Speaking of relationships… I did meet up with girl I dated whilst studying my MBA. She was over from China for work and it was good to catch up. It was very different as we broke up over the stress of the workload. But in a different environment I was much more laid back and without the pressure she seemed less intense too!

I might as well continue on the relationship front, but this time its regarding my best friend and his relationship. He and his girlfriend has been together for around 7 years and to be honest they should be getting married, but he somehow ended up falling for another girl and things got complicated. I was dragged in and it got MESSY. Its not a great end to the year and it was something that could have been dealt with a lot better. I just hope it concludes well for all parties involved.

On a more positive note, I took another trip to Hong Kong at the end of November. I went alone and I had a great time. It was probably the most enjoyable week I spent in Hong Kong and I met up with some old friends as well as making some new ones. Lots of conversations took place and I suddenly felt like moving to Hong Kong on a permanent basis. It’s not 100% but it is 60/40 in favour of Hong Kong at the moment.

Oh… in amongst everything I shaved my head in June. It’s the second time I have done it and I have continued keeping it short now. I don’t think I will be growing my hair any more… it’s more comfortable and easy to manage! I even save on going to the barbers on a monthly basis!

I should also mention one of the best things to have happened in 2007, and that was when I bought myself a couple of hamsters. Though they were from the same litter, they ended up fighting and in separate cages. But they are both lovely and furry little balls of fun! Makes me smile every time I seem them.

I started 2007 as a non smoking 29 year old with a Civic Type R, single, employed and a little unfit. I ended the year as a 30 year old with a Honda S2000, single, still employed, much fitter than I have been in over 10 years and the owner of 2 hamsters Mini and Monster. My original 5 year plan had a spanner thrown in the works with my decision to move to Hong Kong… and now I have to plan my route to Hong Kong and what I will do there.

Ideally I would have liked to have met the girl of my dreams (maybe I have already?) and be looking forward to celebrating our first anniversary… but that never happened. Still there’s always 2008 to look forward to!

First things first for 2008, get back into the gym, prepare for Everest trip, sell one house, organise stag do for cousins wedding, turn 31 :( , apply for jobs in Hong Kong, cousin gets married and I fly off to start my new life in Hong Kong!

Let’s see what actually happens in 12months time….

Waiting for my flight to HK

The day has arrived and I'm at the airport waiting for my flight to Hong Kong. I am quite lucky that I have somehow been upgraded to World Traveller Plus and given access to the BA lounge. It's all thanks to my friend who has been very kind to me and I will have to treat her to dinner or at least give her some flowers!

Anyway... many people have been asking whether I am excited that I am going to HK. And to be honest I'm not. I love the experience of being at the airport, but HK, as a destination, is not a great holiday place. I really like going back to see my grandmother, but other than that, there's not much to do.

In fact this time I am going back alone and there's not a single member of my family. I'm fending for myself! LOL

Actually another reason why I'm not as happy about going back to HK this time is the fact I am going to be with my friend and his recent ex. It's an awkward situation and I don't know how it will turn out. This could be a very LONG week or it could be very short... I'll just have to wait and see!

My 24 hour 'bug'

Ok, I'm not actually ill with a bug in the normal sense, but something 'bugged' me for 24 hours.

I had lost my bluetooth headset. It's not a major issue as I find I am using it less and less these days. But the fact remains, I wanted to know where it was so that I COULD use it if I wished. I searched high and low and turned my room inside out, but I could not find it. I even looked in my car whilst just in shorts and T-shirt in the middle of the night, but to no avail...

For the next 24 hours I constantly thought about where I could havd left it and where I used it last. But I couldn't remember. I had to let it lie and all I could do was contemplate whether to buy a new one or wait till my upgrade is due so that I may get a free one. The normal wired headset could suffice for a couple of months... but it REALLY bugged me!

I am one of those people who are not happy until problems are resolved. I cannot just 'let it be'. It's something that has become apparent to my work colleagues who I am brutally honest, but ultimately professional, with them. If something is not right I will want it corrected, if I need something done, I expect it to be done.

Anyway, I am deviating. In the end I cleared my head whilst going to the gym and I knew full well the bluetooth headset had to be in my car. Where in my car, I did not know, but it was there. Considering it is only a 2 seater it cannot really go far. So after the gym I searched for it under the seats, and lo and behold... THERE it was! Under the passenger seat!

You cannot imagine the happiness I felt at that point. It was a sense of satisfaction, knowing I had solved a problem.

I guess a healthy body equals a healthy mind. Having been to the gym so frequently I am certain I am in the best shape since my teenage years. My heart is stronger; I am stronger both physically and mentally. And I need to be prepared for when I go to Everest in 3 months time.

So, my 24 hour 'bug' came and went... In the end I just needed to be patient and keep a clear mind...

Family, Tradition, Health and Mount Everest

It’s been another long wait for a new blog. People with little complaints have little to say I suppose.

Last time I left feeling rather relaxed and chilled out. Other than dishing out my, limited, words of advice to a number of people I have been put under a bit of stress. Some my own doing and some from others close to me.

Firstly I want to talk about a conversation I had with my mum one night last week. It was quite intense and I really opened up and said exactly how I felt. The flow of the conversation stemmed from the desire of the younger generations (me and my cousins) to go out and do their own thing whilst the parents are very much against it. For example, taking part in amateur Thai Boxing fights which my 17 year old cousin is very interested in, and the fact my brother is looking to buy a second commercial property to open another coffee shop.

My parents and their peers are very protective of us, their children, and rightly so! But sometimes this is very suffocating a leaves us doubting our own abilities and the desire to better ourselves due to the ‘fear’ that they drive into our minds from their limited experience. I argue that they have built success upon calculated risks and with literally no capital and no education, whilst we have the backing, if necessary, and education to emulate and supersede their success really.

What it all boiled down to is the fact that our parents have provided us with such a platform from their hard work, they are reluctant to let us fall and fail. But I argue that it is in failure that we learn and succeed. This led to the argument of the children not respecting the parents and forgetting our ‘traditions’. The ‘tradition’ of please the parents in everything that we do and ensuring they do not have to ‘worry’ about us. Now this is where I opened up and told my mum exactly what I thought about her and her ‘worries’.

At no point do my cousins or I disrespect our parents and our elders. We are very much a close knit family and the only vice any of the family has is that a few of them smoke. No one takes drugs, no one is addicted to gambling, no one is linked to any ‘Chinese Organisations’ and we do relatively little to make our parents worry. But is that fair on us? In keeping our parents ‘sweet’ are we not compromising our integrity and own ambitions? My mum said there should be give from both parties, but the problem is that each individual places a different emphasis on what is most important.

To my cousin, Thai boxing maybe his top priority, but because he wants his parents not to worry he is not going to take part. However, for the parent, they may view drinking heavily as the most negative action which they want stopped whereas my cousin may think its nothing out of the ordinary. Each individual has a different perception to actions which may seem minor to one but major to another.

I stressed that no matter what we, as children, do, we cannot control our parents emotions and how they feel. Whilst we may think we are doing something that does not warrant our parents to worry, they may view it very differently.

This tradition of pleasing the parents is out of date then, I argued. My mum was not accepting this and said this is how it has been for generations in China. I said we are in UK and if these traditions exist, then we have no chance to excel because we will not be allowed to take risks. This did not go down well, but then I have always been strong minded. Although I did reassure my mum that whatever I did I always considered her and my fathers concern first.

All this happened in amidst 3 members of the family going into A&E and private clinic for various conditions and planned operations.

My 41 year old uncle and his dad, my grandfather both went into A&E due to stomach pains. My uncle had appendicitis and inflamed intestines and required immediate operation to remove the appendix and some of the large intestine. My grandfather has gall stones. He knew about them 5-6 years ago but chose to ignore them as they we too small to worry about at the time. Unfortunately he left it too late to get them removed as he developed an infection so he had to be on antibiotics and also be on a drip as he could not take any food due to the pain. Finally my dad went to have keyhole surgery on his left shoulder to remove excess bone which prevents full mobility in his arm.

All three are now out of the hospital and clinics, but my grandfather will not have the gall stones removed in December. My dad is recovering well, but is feeling tired due to being fatigued and jet lagged after returning from HK and also from being under general anaesthetic.

Our lives and our health is never questioned until something bad happens. I, on the other hand, have chosen to remain fit and healthy by eating right and exercising regularly. I know that healthier people than me have dropped down dead in an instance, but I can only do what I can, which coincides nicely with my now booked trip to Mount Everest Base Camp.

Tonight I got home from work and had dinner. I sat down half changed and ready to go to the gym, but I felt drowsy and heavy eyed. I almost fell asleep but forced myself to get in the car and drive. Once step at a time and once I hit the road, I knew I had won and I was going to have a good workout at the gym. My drive is now to get fit and ready to trek Everest for 8 hours a day, 11 days straight, culminating to reaching a height of 5500m on the highest mountain in the world. I can’t wait!

My next immediate diversion is a week off to Hong Kong to see my grandmother and to see some friends. Other than taking a week off in March to go to Hong Kong and another week off to work at my brothers café, I have not taken any holidays this year. I still have 4 days left to take which I will carry over for next years trip to Everest in February. I might also try to go to Hawaii next summer to see the sunrise whilst coasting down 38km of an active volcano on a bike.

I think I just need to set personal targets all the time… in fact we all do really, otherwise we will never move forwards, only sideways.

New friends, old friends and some words of wisdom?

I have been pretty lazy lately… I guess I have nothing to complain about which is why I haven’t been blogging.

Lots has happened and I have found myself a couple of friends to keep me occupied. They are so funny and cheeky and they definitely keep me on my toes! Nope, not just any old mates. I got myself a couple of Russian dwarf hamsters! Soooo much fun but also a real handful. Very cute though! :D

Anyway, back on topic…

My life hasn’t been going that well in love, life and career… but yet I have found myself dispensing advice to numerous individuals. There are a couple asking me for advice on love lost and love emerging… people turning to me for advice on a career change and someone looking to start their own business… another friend confiding in me to keep a personal secret until he is ready.

Of all the people they know, why pick me? I really do not know.why.

My life is in no way perfect and I am struggling to find a way out… Love? Ha… what a joke! Career… well, I have a job but what are the prospects?

Nonetheless I am in a stable position at the moment and to be honest I am biding my time and planning my trip to Everest. I have not smoked for almost 10 months now. I feel healthy, I look fitter and more toned and I have improved my fitness. I have my family and a newborn cousin… so really what else do I need in life?

What do we need in life? We need food and shelter, friends and family around us… We need our health and anything more is a bonus. Maybe we expect too much in life which is why I am much less demanding of people and much more forgiving of others.

I guess it’s my laid back nature that makes me approachable to others… Sometimes I wish I have someone to turn to myself. And in a way I do… Here.

Feeling down...

Lately I have been feeling pretty low. Life is passing me by and I am going nowhere. Since my injury I haven’t been able to go to the gym which has not really helped. It’s been 3 weeks and though the knee is somewhat recovered, the ankle has not. It is very disconcerting to be injured for so long. I am getting worried enough to consider going to get my knee and ankle checked professionally, though I also fear hearing the result too.

Last weekend I went out to celebrate my friends birthday singing karaoke. A typical Chinese means of celebrating and though I don’t really sing, I had a good time. It lasted till the early hours of Sunday morning, 4am to be precise and by the time I got home it was past 5am… Normally that would be fine. But on this particular Sunday I had to be up by 8am to head out to London again to queue up to buy tickets to see the Terra Cotta Soldiers.

Not many things inspire me usually, but the Terra Cotta Soldiers is one of the special piece of history that really fascinates me. But like all good plans, I had to come across some difficulties to make the day more interesting.

Traffic… One the most annoying things I can experience in London whilst running to a schedule. I eventually got there later than expected and the queue was already very long. For a long time I felt as though I wouldn’t be able to get the tickets for today and resigned to thinking of ways to take it out on people. Like pouring coffee over the usher… silly, I know. But I was annoyed!

Lucky for them I got the tickets, but I had to wait my time slot which was at 4pm. It was barely 11am! I ended up passing time by visiting the Japanese design exhibition first which was very interesting and I noticed how much Chinese influenced Japanese design in the last 50 years or so.

But it was still early when I finished. I made my way to Chinatown and wandered into the National Photographers Gallery which I loved. Some of the photos were very thought provoking whilst others offered insight into lives of others around the world.

1.30pm I met up with some friends for Dim Sum. After that I went back to the British Museum and went to see the soldiers.

The narration provided was interesting and offered a different angle to what I have known from being Chinese. Some conclusions that were reached made me smile whilst others surprised me. All in all the exhibition was a real eye opener for me and it made me more determined to visit them for real one day.

On another note, Jude Law was there too…

Other news in my life was the birth of my newest cousin, Alexander and 7lbs 8oz. Photos of him are on my facebook…

His birth has made me think about when I will have a child of my own. Lots go through my mind… if you want to know what, then read some of my earlier blogs.

Right now I am trying to refocus and make my way to the gym again, albeit in a lesser capacity. I have a new goal. All my efforts were made to prepare myself for the possibility of playing rugby, but my knee and ankle have shown me that it’s not going to happen now. Instead, I am not changing my strategy to prepare and condition my body for climbing Mount Everest in March.

Still crippled...

A week on and I am still hobbling. I am now wondering if the injury is more serious than I first thought. Maybe in my younger years I healed quicker? Maybe I’m not healing because it needs professional medical help. Give it another week and if it is still no better I guess I will have to see a doctor.

The weekend has been pretty boring. I washed my car (again!) and I got my eyes tested. I have perfect vision. Not bad for a 30 year old!

On that note I have decided to get myself checked up from top to bottom. I’m not getting any younger and I should know what kind of shape I am in. I don’t expect to live forever, but I would like to stay as mentally and physically able as possible! Fingers crossed!

Argh... my knee!

The weekend just gone has been one of most significance to me in the last 2-3 years.

For about 3 weeks I had been looking forward to this weekend because my old school had organised a Rugby 7s tournament. Not only was I going to play my favourite sport, I was going to see some familiar old faces.

The weekend started as pretty much every weekend does, with me getting up early on a Saturday morning to go to the gym followed by the ritual of washing my car. I was all prepared for a trip up to London to have dinner with some friends, one of which has just come back from Japan… But I got a text from my cousin in law who invited me round for a BBQ at his new house. My initial thought was grab a burger and then head off to London for dinner. When I got there I was welcomed with a couple of items of news… my cousin had set a date for his wedding AND my other cousin was pregnant! :O

There was a bit of a gathering with my cousin in law’s sister’s family there and his best friend and his family. It was just a nice summer’s day with good food. The children there were most energetic and we ended up wandering round to an open field where we threw a Frisbee around before the women wandered off to the shops leaving behind 4 grown men and a 6 year old girl. How did we keep ourselves entertained? We played ‘bulldog’! It was a funny sight!

Anyway, I had to make my way to London and as we left I got a text to say people were dropping out. So I stayed and we went back to the house for more BBQ food and the second half of the England match against Israel which ended convincingly for England. As we sat in the garden cooking and drinking and chatting it was one of the most pleasant says I have had in years. As the night drew near, we started to play silly drinking games which was very funny… when we got bored of that we decided to play even sillier games like spinning around a pole 10 times and then walking to the other side of the garden. Well that was the plan! What actually happened was that people were falling sideways and collapsing everywhere. But me, I had to try to demolish the shed by running into it… luckily I was dragged to the ground before any damage was done! It was hilarious!

But it was getting late and we all had early starts, mine being a rugby 7s tournament. We called it a night at 1am and I headed off home to pack my rugby gear.

Sunday… the day had finally arrived. I got up, got changed and left the house. I drove to school. I arrived and drove around the grounds reminding myself of the past I once had there. I parked up and wandered over to the field where a lot of the old boys were. There were many familiar faces but not many names. The strange thing was how these faces had aged… so much more than I expected. AND the fact that most of them were in the years below me!

Lots of catching up needed to be done and some faces I never expected to see again were appearing randomly. However, I was looking forward to playing some rugby. At kick off we managed to get through some phases of play and passed the ball fluently from player to player. We even managed to score a try! Then from kick off I ran and jumped for the ball. I got a touch but landed awkwardly with an opposition player on top of my right leg, spraining my ankle and twisting my knee. That was the end of me. I was hobbling for the rest of the day. I stayed on to chat some more to some old friends, swapped numbers before finally heading off home feeling rather annoyed at the injury I incurred.

I was in a lot of pain and I was getting worried that the injury was going to mean another knee op… Something I don’t want to go through again. Once home I strapped up my knee in the knee brace I had when I was going through the original operation. It took the weight off my knee and I hobbled a bit better!

The rest of the day I spent resting before venturing out to get food and petrol. For the rest of the night I planned to watch TV, but I got a call from my cousin and I went round for a game of Articulate! It was there that I got some more news… my cousin asked me to be his best man for his wedding. I felt very touched…

It was a weekend of highs and lows… of past memories and news of the next generation…

Unfortunately up till writing this blog my knee has recovered but my ankle hasn’t and I am still hobbling like an old man!

Though it has been one of the nicest weekends of my life, I feel disappointed I don’t have anyone to share this with…

Where does my time go?

It seems like I have no time write my blog these days. There is always something to do or somewhere to go. Admittedly I am spending a lot of time at the gym and by the time I get home and have something to eat it is pretty much time for bed. I would spend some time online before going to sleep but mostly to catch up with friends on MSN or emailing…

With the week days taken up with going to the gym I only have the weekend to really chill out and relax. But the last weekend was manic and spent at my cousins and the weekend just gone was just as bad in terms of free time, or rather just time alone.

The Bank holiday weekend started off pretty well on Friday night helping my cousin and her husband move home. It’s been a long delay and it was fortunate that the move happened over the long weekend which gave us time to move the larger items of furniture. Although there weren’t many items to move, the size and weight seriously hampered the speed which we got the move done. Coupled with the fact that the new house was 20miles away it was a case of cramming as much as we could into one van load before coming back for a second. By the time we had done the two runs it was midnight. It was a long day…

Saturday morning I woke up early to go to the gym. I like going to the gym on Saturday mornings as it is very quiet and I get to move from machine to machine quickly. After the gym I went home to wash my car. One of my favourite activities these days… Being out in the sun and soaking up the rays and cleaning my car is so relaxing and a real stress buster…

In the evening a couple of friends came to visit and we went to play snooker… something we haven’t done in ages! It was fun but also a bit strange because there was no smoke in the snooker hall! Not that it wasn’t appreciated being a non smoker now for 8 months I am glad for the clear air.

Sunday was the day my cousins find out who the fastest driver is… on the Go Kart track! Knowing my position as a heavy weight amongst all my cousins I did my homework and went to the gym before meeting up with them to travel to the Go Kart track. It was after the gym that the weekend became annoying and frustrating as my car engine light came on again for the second time in 3 weeks! There was nothing I could do except drive home and wait till the weekend was over. I walked to the shop where my cousins arranged to meet and we made our way to the Go Kart track.

What started off so well became a nightmare as we could not find the Go Karting place to begin with and when we did, my cousin realised he had dropped his camera somewhere and he was getting very stressed and pissed off as it’s the first time he has lost anything that expensive… I put it down a to a learning experience.

The usual malarkey ensued with the pre race instructions and kitting up in the ‘nice’ overalls, gloves and helmets! Climbing into the go karts for the first time was a bit of a squeeze and I was thankful I did go to the gym to lose the minimal, but vital, millimetres! After splitting the cousins into 2 groups we went through 4 rounds of heats to sort the men from the boys! Testosterone mixed into the exhaust filled air and we were off! After 4 rounds the semi final positions were determined and the top 3 from each would fight for bragging rights in the final… I ended up in 4th position behind my cousin, another cousin’s friend and the husband of another cousin.

After the ‘awards’ on the podium we all headed back to my cousins and stuffed our faces with food before having a kick about for an hour or so. I was shattered after that. But the night was still young! We all then made our way over to my cousins new house and we ended up playing Trival Pursuits and poker till 4am!! It was a very long day and I was ‘dead’.

It was 7.45am when I was awoken by my weekday alarm… I had forgotten to turn off my ‘work’ alarm. But fear not, I fell straight back to sleep! :D

I eventually got up at around mid day and then went round to my uncles with my younger cousins to use his ‘gym’ whilst I was stranded without a car. But it wasn’t long before the stomach started to whine for feeding so we all headed out to the carvery for a roast lunch. The rest of the day afterwards was spent sharing painfully embarrassing stories about each other and ourselves! It was a very nice evening, in fact weekend, with all my cousins at different times and sharing laughs. From the youngest aged 7 through to the oldest aged 30… we all sat together and joked and laughed.

Work was a welcome relief from the hectic weekend… and the week has gone by pretty quickly. And hopefully my car will be fixed by tomorrow afternoon.

Over the last couple of weeks a number of ‘other’ things have happened which is somewhat confusing for me. On one hand I feel very sad but on another I feel a sense of relief and happiness. There’s no real way of saying this other than to be upfront and that my ex has found love in her flatmate who is also a guy I have known for a few years too. I don’t think there’s a need to say much more really. He’s a nice guy and she’s a lovely girl…. I hope it works out for them as they do suit each other.

Me… I’ll just plod along. I have my own thoughts and feelings which are a bit random and all over the place. One thing I am looking forward to is playing rugby with my school friends next weekend and also planning for a trip to trek Mount Everest…

Once I get some of my personal goals out of the way, maybe I will find someone to share my life with. Ideally I’d love to find someone to go to Everest with, but I’m not holding my breathe!

My long weekend...

It started after work on Friday and ended as I write this blog entry...

My usual routine on a Friday consisted of finishing work, going home and then to the gym. Not much changed up to that point. Normally my evening would end with a shower and a few hours chilling out at home. However, this was not to be and after my shower I was on the road driving up to Tiptree in Essex where my grandparents and cousins live for the purpose of a summer get together with the cousins for a BBQ and football. It's a 110mile journey and it was the furthest I had driven in my S2000. I had some reservations about the usability of the S2000 on long journeys but as it turned out it was a very comfortable journey and I had no complaints. By the time I arrived at my cousins, who live right next door to our grandparents, it was nearly 1am. But we still stayed up till about 3am before heading off to bed.

Saturday morning I was up by 9.30am. I sleep a lot less than my cousins so I went online whilst waiting for them to awaken. The plan for today was to go yum cha in Colchester with my grandparents and aunts and uncles. We headed off at 1.30pm and got back for around 4pm. We then decided to have a kick around which was knackering but fun with kids as young as 11 against uncles as old as 40. Of course it was all good natured and the object was to have fun and sweat! Which we did!

That night was all about rest until the last of the cousins arrived and then it was a 2 hour game of Articulate! It was so funny and also showed how knowledgeable some cousins were compared to others! The 'oldies' ended up last and the 'babies' won! 4 teams of 3 people and the youngest team won... the shame! LOL

Sunday followed after another night of limited sleep. We pretty much started the BBQ as soon as everyone was awake. Unfortunately the weather wasn't so kind to us and it was raining most of the early afternoon which meant having the BBQ inside the garage! I had never seen so much smoke! However, we still continued as planned and we cooked meat on fire! My cousin even had time to fit an airfilter to his car!

We all stuffed our faces and had to digest the food before we could muster up the energy to play football. Luckily the weather dried up and the game was on! Mid way through some rain fell and some were hoping to call it a day, but we keep on going and it soon stopped again.The goals flowed and we soon discovered who were the fitter ones. As the boys played, the girls we doing their own thing in the park... Judging by the photos, they had a lot of fun too!

Getting back from football we went for round 2 of BBQ food and watched the rest of the football on TV. A few started to leave as they were starting work early tomorrow. I stayed behind with my brother and the young 'uns for pizza before heading off into the rain. After an hour and forty minutes I was home... I unpacked, put clothes in the wash and ran a bath.

It's been a long and fun weekend... Next weekend is go karting with the cousins. Should be another good one!

I love where I live...

I just wanted to talk a little about where I live. It's a little village off junction 5 on the M3. I say little, but it has grown considerably in the 30 years that I have lived here.

Although I have moved around the country and bought properties in other locations, I still feel at home here. It's the fresh air, the tranquility and the general laid back attitude. There are no chavs around, there is little crime and everyone knows everyone else.

But the best thing about living in a small village is the wildlife and the farm animals I see on my daily journey in to work. Some may find it strange, but I am an animal lover. Always have been. Where I live, our garden backs onto a field where a couple of horses graze, and on a few occasions we even get deers passing through our garden as well as a many others like woodpeckers, squirrels, cats, our neighbours dog... it's just so nice to see wildlife around.

On my way to work I saw a deer crossing the road, numerous rabbits scurrying away, pheasants dashing for cover and sometimes badgers just on the side of the road. On my way back I can choose another route that guarantees me to see some dwarf ponies, cattle grazing and sheep. There is so much life around and such clean air I cannot think of a better place to be.

Saying that, situations can change and maybe I will have to move one day? But it's great to know there is still a lovely retreat where I can be amongst a lot of wildlife. When I do move out and live in my own space, I WILL get a dog!