It’s been another long wait for a new blog. People with little complaints have little to say I suppose.
Last time I left feeling rather relaxed and chilled out. Other than dishing out my, limited, words of advice to a number of people I have been put under a bit of stress. Some my own doing and some from others close to me.
Firstly I want to talk about a conversation I had with my mum one night last week. It was quite intense and I really opened up and said exactly how I felt. The flow of the conversation stemmed from the desire of the younger generations (me and my cousins) to go out and do their own thing whilst the parents are very much against it. For example, taking part in amateur Thai Boxing fights which my 17 year old cousin is very interested in, and the fact my brother is looking to buy a second commercial property to open another coffee shop.
My parents and their peers are very protective of us, their children, and rightly so! But sometimes this is very suffocating a leaves us doubting our own abilities and the desire to better ourselves due to the ‘fear’ that they drive into our minds from their limited experience. I argue that they have built success upon calculated risks and with literally no capital and no education, whilst we have the backing, if necessary, and education to emulate and supersede their success really.
What it all boiled down to is the fact that our parents have provided us with such a platform from their hard work, they are reluctant to let us fall and fail. But I argue that it is in failure that we learn and succeed. This led to the argument of the children not respecting the parents and forgetting our ‘traditions’. The ‘tradition’ of please the parents in everything that we do and ensuring they do not have to ‘worry’ about us. Now this is where I opened up and told my mum exactly what I thought about her and her ‘worries’.
At no point do my cousins or I disrespect our parents and our elders. We are very much a close knit family and the only vice any of the family has is that a few of them smoke. No one takes drugs, no one is addicted to gambling, no one is linked to any ‘Chinese Organisations’ and we do relatively little to make our parents worry. But is that fair on us? In keeping our parents ‘sweet’ are we not compromising our integrity and own ambitions? My mum said there should be give from both parties, but the problem is that each individual places a different emphasis on what is most important.
To my cousin, Thai boxing maybe his top priority, but because he wants his parents not to worry he is not going to take part. However, for the parent, they may view drinking heavily as the most negative action which they want stopped whereas my cousin may think its nothing out of the ordinary. Each individual has a different perception to actions which may seem minor to one but major to another.
I stressed that no matter what we, as children, do, we cannot control our parents emotions and how they feel. Whilst we may think we are doing something that does not warrant our parents to worry, they may view it very differently.
This tradition of pleasing the parents is out of date then, I argued. My mum was not accepting this and said this is how it has been for generations in China. I said we are in UK and if these traditions exist, then we have no chance to excel because we will not be allowed to take risks. This did not go down well, but then I have always been strong minded. Although I did reassure my mum that whatever I did I always considered her and my fathers concern first.
All this happened in amidst 3 members of the family going into A&E and private clinic for various conditions and planned operations.
My 41 year old uncle and his dad, my grandfather both went into A&E due to stomach pains. My uncle had appendicitis and inflamed intestines and required immediate operation to remove the appendix and some of the large intestine. My grandfather has gall stones. He knew about them 5-6 years ago but chose to ignore them as they we too small to worry about at the time. Unfortunately he left it too late to get them removed as he developed an infection so he had to be on antibiotics and also be on a drip as he could not take any food due to the pain. Finally my dad went to have keyhole surgery on his left shoulder to remove excess bone which prevents full mobility in his arm.
All three are now out of the hospital and clinics, but my grandfather will not have the gall stones removed in December. My dad is recovering well, but is feeling tired due to being fatigued and jet lagged after returning from HK and also from being under general anaesthetic.
Our lives and our health is never questioned until something bad happens. I, on the other hand, have chosen to remain fit and healthy by eating right and exercising regularly. I know that healthier people than me have dropped down dead in an instance, but I can only do what I can, which coincides nicely with my now booked trip to Mount Everest Base Camp.
Tonight I got home from work and had dinner. I sat down half changed and ready to go to the gym, but I felt drowsy and heavy eyed. I almost fell asleep but forced myself to get in the car and drive. Once step at a time and once I hit the road, I knew I had won and I was going to have a good workout at the gym. My drive is now to get fit and ready to trek Everest for 8 hours a day, 11 days straight, culminating to reaching a height of 5500m on the highest mountain in the world. I can’t wait!
My next immediate diversion is a week off to Hong Kong to see my grandmother and to see some friends. Other than taking a week off in March to go to Hong Kong and another week off to work at my brothers café, I have not taken any holidays this year. I still have 4 days left to take which I will carry over for next years trip to Everest in February. I might also try to go to Hawaii next summer to see the sunrise whilst coasting down 38km of an active volcano on a bike.
I think I just need to set personal targets all the time… in fact we all do really, otherwise we will never move forwards, only sideways.
