Where does my time go?

It seems like I have no time write my blog these days. There is always something to do or somewhere to go. Admittedly I am spending a lot of time at the gym and by the time I get home and have something to eat it is pretty much time for bed. I would spend some time online before going to sleep but mostly to catch up with friends on MSN or emailing…

With the week days taken up with going to the gym I only have the weekend to really chill out and relax. But the last weekend was manic and spent at my cousins and the weekend just gone was just as bad in terms of free time, or rather just time alone.

The Bank holiday weekend started off pretty well on Friday night helping my cousin and her husband move home. It’s been a long delay and it was fortunate that the move happened over the long weekend which gave us time to move the larger items of furniture. Although there weren’t many items to move, the size and weight seriously hampered the speed which we got the move done. Coupled with the fact that the new house was 20miles away it was a case of cramming as much as we could into one van load before coming back for a second. By the time we had done the two runs it was midnight. It was a long day…

Saturday morning I woke up early to go to the gym. I like going to the gym on Saturday mornings as it is very quiet and I get to move from machine to machine quickly. After the gym I went home to wash my car. One of my favourite activities these days… Being out in the sun and soaking up the rays and cleaning my car is so relaxing and a real stress buster…

In the evening a couple of friends came to visit and we went to play snooker… something we haven’t done in ages! It was fun but also a bit strange because there was no smoke in the snooker hall! Not that it wasn’t appreciated being a non smoker now for 8 months I am glad for the clear air.

Sunday was the day my cousins find out who the fastest driver is… on the Go Kart track! Knowing my position as a heavy weight amongst all my cousins I did my homework and went to the gym before meeting up with them to travel to the Go Kart track. It was after the gym that the weekend became annoying and frustrating as my car engine light came on again for the second time in 3 weeks! There was nothing I could do except drive home and wait till the weekend was over. I walked to the shop where my cousins arranged to meet and we made our way to the Go Kart track.

What started off so well became a nightmare as we could not find the Go Karting place to begin with and when we did, my cousin realised he had dropped his camera somewhere and he was getting very stressed and pissed off as it’s the first time he has lost anything that expensive… I put it down a to a learning experience.

The usual malarkey ensued with the pre race instructions and kitting up in the ‘nice’ overalls, gloves and helmets! Climbing into the go karts for the first time was a bit of a squeeze and I was thankful I did go to the gym to lose the minimal, but vital, millimetres! After splitting the cousins into 2 groups we went through 4 rounds of heats to sort the men from the boys! Testosterone mixed into the exhaust filled air and we were off! After 4 rounds the semi final positions were determined and the top 3 from each would fight for bragging rights in the final… I ended up in 4th position behind my cousin, another cousin’s friend and the husband of another cousin.

After the ‘awards’ on the podium we all headed back to my cousins and stuffed our faces with food before having a kick about for an hour or so. I was shattered after that. But the night was still young! We all then made our way over to my cousins new house and we ended up playing Trival Pursuits and poker till 4am!! It was a very long day and I was ‘dead’.

It was 7.45am when I was awoken by my weekday alarm… I had forgotten to turn off my ‘work’ alarm. But fear not, I fell straight back to sleep! :D

I eventually got up at around mid day and then went round to my uncles with my younger cousins to use his ‘gym’ whilst I was stranded without a car. But it wasn’t long before the stomach started to whine for feeding so we all headed out to the carvery for a roast lunch. The rest of the day afterwards was spent sharing painfully embarrassing stories about each other and ourselves! It was a very nice evening, in fact weekend, with all my cousins at different times and sharing laughs. From the youngest aged 7 through to the oldest aged 30… we all sat together and joked and laughed.

Work was a welcome relief from the hectic weekend… and the week has gone by pretty quickly. And hopefully my car will be fixed by tomorrow afternoon.

Over the last couple of weeks a number of ‘other’ things have happened which is somewhat confusing for me. On one hand I feel very sad but on another I feel a sense of relief and happiness. There’s no real way of saying this other than to be upfront and that my ex has found love in her flatmate who is also a guy I have known for a few years too. I don’t think there’s a need to say much more really. He’s a nice guy and she’s a lovely girl…. I hope it works out for them as they do suit each other.

Me… I’ll just plod along. I have my own thoughts and feelings which are a bit random and all over the place. One thing I am looking forward to is playing rugby with my school friends next weekend and also planning for a trip to trek Mount Everest…

Once I get some of my personal goals out of the way, maybe I will find someone to share my life with. Ideally I’d love to find someone to go to Everest with, but I’m not holding my breathe!

My long weekend...

It started after work on Friday and ended as I write this blog entry...

My usual routine on a Friday consisted of finishing work, going home and then to the gym. Not much changed up to that point. Normally my evening would end with a shower and a few hours chilling out at home. However, this was not to be and after my shower I was on the road driving up to Tiptree in Essex where my grandparents and cousins live for the purpose of a summer get together with the cousins for a BBQ and football. It's a 110mile journey and it was the furthest I had driven in my S2000. I had some reservations about the usability of the S2000 on long journeys but as it turned out it was a very comfortable journey and I had no complaints. By the time I arrived at my cousins, who live right next door to our grandparents, it was nearly 1am. But we still stayed up till about 3am before heading off to bed.

Saturday morning I was up by 9.30am. I sleep a lot less than my cousins so I went online whilst waiting for them to awaken. The plan for today was to go yum cha in Colchester with my grandparents and aunts and uncles. We headed off at 1.30pm and got back for around 4pm. We then decided to have a kick around which was knackering but fun with kids as young as 11 against uncles as old as 40. Of course it was all good natured and the object was to have fun and sweat! Which we did!

That night was all about rest until the last of the cousins arrived and then it was a 2 hour game of Articulate! It was so funny and also showed how knowledgeable some cousins were compared to others! The 'oldies' ended up last and the 'babies' won! 4 teams of 3 people and the youngest team won... the shame! LOL

Sunday followed after another night of limited sleep. We pretty much started the BBQ as soon as everyone was awake. Unfortunately the weather wasn't so kind to us and it was raining most of the early afternoon which meant having the BBQ inside the garage! I had never seen so much smoke! However, we still continued as planned and we cooked meat on fire! My cousin even had time to fit an airfilter to his car!

We all stuffed our faces and had to digest the food before we could muster up the energy to play football. Luckily the weather dried up and the game was on! Mid way through some rain fell and some were hoping to call it a day, but we keep on going and it soon stopped again.The goals flowed and we soon discovered who were the fitter ones. As the boys played, the girls we doing their own thing in the park... Judging by the photos, they had a lot of fun too!

Getting back from football we went for round 2 of BBQ food and watched the rest of the football on TV. A few started to leave as they were starting work early tomorrow. I stayed behind with my brother and the young 'uns for pizza before heading off into the rain. After an hour and forty minutes I was home... I unpacked, put clothes in the wash and ran a bath.

It's been a long and fun weekend... Next weekend is go karting with the cousins. Should be another good one!

I love where I live...

I just wanted to talk a little about where I live. It's a little village off junction 5 on the M3. I say little, but it has grown considerably in the 30 years that I have lived here.

Although I have moved around the country and bought properties in other locations, I still feel at home here. It's the fresh air, the tranquility and the general laid back attitude. There are no chavs around, there is little crime and everyone knows everyone else.

But the best thing about living in a small village is the wildlife and the farm animals I see on my daily journey in to work. Some may find it strange, but I am an animal lover. Always have been. Where I live, our garden backs onto a field where a couple of horses graze, and on a few occasions we even get deers passing through our garden as well as a many others like woodpeckers, squirrels, cats, our neighbours dog... it's just so nice to see wildlife around.

On my way to work I saw a deer crossing the road, numerous rabbits scurrying away, pheasants dashing for cover and sometimes badgers just on the side of the road. On my way back I can choose another route that guarantees me to see some dwarf ponies, cattle grazing and sheep. There is so much life around and such clean air I cannot think of a better place to be.

Saying that, situations can change and maybe I will have to move one day? But it's great to know there is still a lovely retreat where I can be amongst a lot of wildlife. When I do move out and live in my own space, I WILL get a dog!

Recent downturn in fortunes... and a more thoughts on life

A long break since my last update. No particular reason other than being lazy and not having much to say really. I contemplated 'blogging' a few times but I wasn't really inspired so I left it.

Certain things have played on my mind recently and though things are going pretty well, I find a small bit of bad news can have a big impact on me emotionally. Winning is a habit, but so is losing applies to how I am feeling too. Whilst I am feeling good, not a lot can damage my positivity, but once it gets bad then it becomes a chore to life myself up again.

There were times when I felt I could just blurt out my angst to all and not give shit. But I took time to think things through and realise it's not fair on people if I did that because it is not there fault I feel the way I feel. It's a personal issue that I have to place under control. People haven't changed, it's my own perception that has. It was probably more evident since my car had a cylinder failure resulting in a lack of mobility for a week and that also meant no gym! Something I really miss!

But there were some positives to be gained from being carless... I got to use public transport a bit more which I have never had many complaints about other than being restricted to travelling at certain times. I trained into town a couple of times during the week and I also trained out to London (seperate story to tell here...)! Having met up with friends in London for dim sum I then faced a dilemma of getting home. My friend offered me a lift to his and we hung out for most of the day. Bought a frisbee and chucked that around in the warm weather. Then he washed his car. Later that evening another friend picked me up to go bowling where I met up with some more friends who eventually gave me a lift home! It was wonderful the way I managed to work my way home from central London via network of friends!

Anyway, I want to go back to the issue of public transport. Maybe I am not a regular user of trains and public transport but I do enjoy using it when necessary. It takes the pain out of having to stay alert and I get to read and listen to music. Due to the problem on my car I had to take a train to London over the weekend as explained in the previous paragraph. I walked to the train station and as I approached I saw my train pulling up! I ran and just jumped on in time! I then went to see the ticket inspector to purchase a ticket, but instead I was told I had to pay a fine because I boarded a train without a valid ticket. I argued I wanted to catch the train and came to buy a ticket as soon as I could, but he was having none of it and gave me 2 options which meant nothing to me as he didn't really explain himself very clearly. In the end I paid the fine and bought a ticket.

Now, in my younger days I would have probably been really pissed off with the guy and probably wouldn't have gone looking to buy a ticket. But being more mature and older I wanted to do the right thing. I appreciate that there are rules and regulations in business and I was using a service. I can argue that the train was going to go to London with or without me, but I was using the service so I should pay. The ticket inspector was merely doing the same job I do day in day out, ensuring that our customers pay for the licenses and maintenance of our software. It's easy to be lenient and let things by, but that is not business and that is where companies fail. Adhering to rules and regulations ensure that a company is at its most efficient and although it was more than what I was expecting to pay for my travels, I did not feel hard done by.

This month is a bit of a quiet month for me because I need to get back on track with my finances now. Most of my time is being spent with my relatives rather than going out and it has been good. This weekend I will be going up to Essex for a BBQ and kick around with cousins, and the following weekend is another 'cousins' gathering at a Go Karting day. Before I know it, Christmas will be here! I have yet to decide if I want to go back to HK or not yet.

I feel ‘fat’ from not going to the gym for the last week due to lack of car. Can’t wait to get back in and working out again. I feel more alert and less fatigued when I have been going to the gym!

Something else that came to my mind today was the repetitiveness of our lives. Maybe it's just my own, but I have noticed that week in week out the same routine takes place. We spend Mondays to Wednesday talking about the weekend just gone and from Wednesday to Fridays talking about what to do for the coming weekeng! I guess my life is quite mundane at the moment. Stuck in a bit of a rut with visions of the future looking very foggy... I can see no further than a month ahead. I'd love to look further ahead and plan my life with someone but planning for one requires very little... especially when it is me. A guy who has pretty much everything and needs nothing.

Another take I have on life is how our short working years can be shortened and represented by a 7 day week. We work 5 out of 7 days which is almost 50 of our 70 years. How we choose to work and live can be represented within these 7 days. For some the week starts on a Monday where we would work hard and earn our money to spend over the weekend. Others may choose to spend over the weekend and work to pay off the debt. Our lives are very similar in that we can effectively work early and spend our hard earned cash or we can have our fun now and spend the rest of our lives paying for it.

The end result is very much the same but the lifestyle you live is very different. I don't know if there is a right way or a wrong way, but its our own way...

A 30 year old's blog

A couple of days into my 30s and I feel no different. I feel quite relaxed actually and I have just been continuing to live each day as normal with work followed by the gym.

Maybe I’ll talk about what I watched on TV tonight instead… Well it was on National Geographic Wildlife. I was watching documentaries about bears.

I have a fascination with bears. They are massive creatures with great destructive power and pretty much without predator other than humans. But even with their strength and power to kill they are relatively ‘nice’ towards humans in that most attacks end up without life being lost, which cannot be said for other wild animal attacks.

The bear is powerful, graceful and passive unless provoked… I like to think I am in a similar mould myself and if reincarnations exist I would like to come back as a bear! :)

Actually there were 2 programs on bears and the second focused on an ageing bear who used to rule the river where the bears fished. Unfortunately the bear was getting fat to old to defend his turf and he was over powered by a younger more hungry bear. I guess I kinda felt sorry for the ageing bear, but that is life. We get old and we get surpassed. We cannot rule forever and I think it is important to know this.

We all have our time on this earth and we need to make the most of the time we have before it is taken away from us due to nature and the natural cycle of life. But what comes around goes around and the ageing bear fathered a couple of cubs who one day may regain their father’s crown.

All I can do now is to make sure I keep myself fit and healthy and make sure I use the time I have left to its maximum potential. It’s easy enough to live a simple life and go through the motions, but I would like to make more of an impact. Maybe not in the sense that I become wealthy and powerful, but more in the sense that I have helped people and it is recognised.